Last time I spoke to you guys in, I have found my place in this world ,I skipped past my actual gaming time.
My husband upgraded and gave me his old PC. I started off with Rust, moved on to CS. Surrounded in a nest of friends until I got my 1st rank and then I was released into the world.
Being called a noob, told to go to the kitchen and make someone a sandwich (yeah like I haven’t heard that before). I had so much game knowledge but zero skill – probs still true. It was frustrating and heartbreaking.
Somehow, I still fell in love with the game and the handful of nice people I met. I started getting better, slowly, and wanted more, I NEEDED more. I then heard of competitive gaming, dabbled on my own, joined an org, I was there for over a year.
My year in that org taught me so much. I learned how to lead, stand up for my players and to fight. Don’t get me wrong on my next point, I appreciate what I learned there no matter how hard the lessons were.
As captain and founder of my team, I felt alone, I didn’t get much support from the org from a management perspective. I was told on a regular basis that I owned my team, we just played under the org’s banner. I just felt like I wasn’t a part of an org but rather just alone in what I was doing. I was busy prospecting players to add to my roster, I was planning on stepping out to make sure I had the best team possible. The paw-paw then proceeded to hit the fan, the floor was ripped from underneath me and my world shattered. Suddenly managers were introduced above us who had free reign over the team that I’d been fighting for.
A couple of weeks later one of those managers was given even more free reign, ripped my team apart, took the players I was going to take on and made his own team.
Now I get that this might be normal or how things usually work, but you don’t get to tell me that this is my team to do with as I please and leave me alone for months on end and then do this. Yes, I did take this personally. I was mad.
Still, I tried to adjust and move on, now this might be the female in me, but I just couldn’t get over it. I stayed out of loyalty for the org and my friends within. Something personal happened that cut my personal ties to the org and I left.
I started my own org, where I planned to do management differently.
I struggle daily with the ‘they don’t need to like me’ mindset and the fact that I like to get to know every player and team in my org. I love knowing the players and different mindsets and personalities. One team is ‘a supportive, we are family’ team, the other team is functionally salty but they do what works and I like to believe that we are offering an environment where they can be themselves and be good.
Keep me to it, keep me honest.